In traditional Japanese pottery-making, it describes a serendipitous accident, a mistake in the firing process, that results in an interesting imperfection. Although we might see it as warped or discolored, such a pot is prized among collectors as something unique and oddly beautiful. The trick is ascertaining which pots are “yohen”-and which are mistakes destined to be thrown away.

This concept might be applied to marriage. When after all, is marriage beautifully imperfect and when is it merely defunct? Perhaps when it no longer gives birth to something beautiful. A good marriage is hard work, glorious at times and full of fun….and tears.

And what about the growth and maturation of the individual? We are often like the pots I described, in and out of a “firing process”…wondering if we can survive. Carl Jung describes it thus: “Then from the depths below, fire penetrates the seed and makes it grow, causing a great golden flower to unfold from the germinal vesicle…darkness gives birth to light; out of the ‘lead of the water region’ grows noble gold; what is unconscious becomes conscious in the form of a living process of growth. In this way, the union of consciousness and life takes place” (Alchemical Studies (CW 13, para34&35). This is imminately hopeful and a direct challenge to stay connected to the “depths below. This process keeps us in the fires of transformation, moving us towards a state of wholeness, not perfection. The outcome will be someone “unique and oddly beautiful”…yohen.

Ring the bells that you can ring

Forget your perfect offering

There is a crack in everything

Its how the light gets in. (Leonard Cohen)

1. Separate what you’ve always done from what you’d like to do and who you would like to become.
2. Spend 15 minutes using your imagination to dream outside the boundaries that have encircled your life.
3. Ask yourself the question:  What would I do if I knew I couldn’t fail and money wasn’t an issue?
4. Try out activities you have never done.  Take a new way home from work; learn enough Spanish to say “hello” and “have a good day” to Spanish-speaking people you meet.
5. Take time to visit or talk with a person who is doing something you’ve always dreamed of doing.  Volunteer to help them for a day.
6. Review your life and highlight the big decisions that led you to your career choices, hobbies and friendships.  Are you satisfied with these decisions?  Is there any pruning necessary to make room for new growth?
7. Convene a support group that will help you expand your horizons and challenge you to reach beyond your limited idea of what you can achieve.
8. Find one place in your life for the thing that you feel passionate about-something that you dreamed of before you sang, “Que Sera, Sera, whatever will be will be.”
9. Take note of the people you admire or look up to, and meditate on why you project your own “gold” or disowned gifts onto another person.
10. Don’t let your fears define who you are.  Make a list of what you fear and off set these with the facts.  Say “yes” to the things that give your life purpose.

When it’s over, I don’t want to wonder

If I have made of my life something particular, and real

I don’t want to find myself sighing and frightened,

Or full of argument.

I don’t want to end up simply having visited this world. (“When Death Comes” by Mary Oliver)